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Hey there auction girl,
why not give life a whirl?
Turn off that machine and go outside.
Get some sun to tan your hide.
Log off before your eyes turn green,
or you get some disease in the spleen.
There's more to life than Ebay,
do you hear what I'm trying to say?
I try to call but get a busy tone,
why even bother having a phone?
In order to chat I've got to e-mail
or keep trying to call to no avail.
Did you get those dogs for a buck?
Soon you're going to need a truck.
Truckloads of crap, you turn into piles of green,
Its the most precious, cutest, sweetest thing I've seen.
You must see my point, just take a l@@k,
don't you feel like some petty, 2 bit crook?
Old women & men, and poor folks invalid,
work themselves into a frenzy of bid after bid.
Spending their Medicare checks, its sad to say.
"I must have the pensive bulldog, he has a beret!"
They pawn their medication to complete the set,
but don't worry yourself about that, don't you fret.
You see what comes must go around too,
cause when your senile that's just what you'll do.
You'll buy the same things you're selling today,
you'll blow the fortune you've amassed on Ebay.
Poor & decrepit you'll continue to buy,
until you've nothing left to do but cry.
Then when you're gone and they divide your estate
"What's all this crap!", your kids will exclamate,
but not one young girl, evil twinkle in her eye,
who'll take all your stuff and set the reserve too high.
The terrible cycle begins all over again,
what Ebay hell is this? what wages of sin?